Well, I did it. I baked chocolate chip cookies and ate only one. I didn’t even lick my fingers! I know, crazy!
Today is the real test, though. I’ll be baking FOUR DIFFERENT KINDS of cookies to bring to Thanksgiving. Gulp. We’re traveling a few hours away this year, and I am a little bit nervous about the food. I feel in control right now. I plan my food out in advance–what I’ll eat for my meals and snacks–and then I just eat that. I don’t even think about it. For now, I can’t stop and consider what I might feel like eating at any given moment. I’m eating to get better and be well, and that’s all.
I also joined the Y yesterday. Exercise is happening.
Two weeks into this journey, I realize how desperately I want to see some kind of positive change — my pants feeling looser, someone asking me, “hey, have you lost weight?” — something. I struggle with this desire for instant gratification. Like, hey, I haven’t touched the halloween candy for FOURTEEN DAYS! Surely I should have something to show for it?
I have to take a longer view. It took me a long time to get this unhealthy, and it will take a long time to get healthy again. Period. I need to keep making a plan and sticking to it…one day at a time.